A Birthday With Moderation on Top

Budgeting stinks. You know there's somewhere inside you that agrees with me, even if you have tons of self-control and adore countin' them beans. There's part of you that kicks and screams and throws a temper tantrum every time you have to tell yourself "no."

Budgeting money: sucks. Budgeting calories: FML. Life is full of things reminding you that everything should be moderate. Spend too much and be broke. Eat too much and be obese. Broke and obese aren't good, but wouldn't it be nice to not have to even worry about it?

Sometimes, I just feel like "moderate" is a bad word. It's synonymous with bland, boring, oatmeal, gray. I don't like it. I love the results of moderate, but I hate the "doing" of the moderate. And I really hate getting to that place of moderation.

I celebrated my birthday over the weekend, and it was fantastic. I went to live horse races for the first time, and had such a good time! There's so much for me to learn about it, it's a whole other language and culture for me to delve into. I hope to figure it out a bit more and go again soon.

Off to the races!

The races, combined with some AMAZING Mexican food (my latest downfall), and a beautiful birthday cake made my big 3-1 really fun.

BUT, sometime during my weekend of fun, I realized just how hard my fall from the fitness wagon was. I'm a stress eater,and after my aforementioned financial-freakout, I ate. And I ate. And ate. And then I added chocolate chips to brownie batter and I ate some more. (Seriously.) It was comforting to me, and as screwed up as it sounds, it helped. Now that I feel like I've got my act back together (hello, Moderation!), I've felt that push to get back on the calorie counting wagon. I went and got some healthy foods, that I hope will be the bulk of my diet this week, and am starting to feel determined again. But getting there, that beautiful momentum, just SUCKS.

On top of that, I really wanted to shop today. Nothing major-- I wanted to get one of these lovely loungers so I could bask in the sun while I stay home and not spend money this summer.

Oh, Lowes... I could spend so much $$ on your patio furniture.

 

 

Then I saw the price-- $280!! Last year I would have went right down there, because yes-- that's a LOT of money, but for my birthday I would have splurged. ::sigh::

I had to refocus on that place of moderation. Cause I've never lived a lavish life, I've never been anything more than an average middle-class chick. I can still get a lounge chair (from the same place) for WAY less. It's not as pretty, but know what? It will function just the same. But for someone who has never really budgeted for anything and just wants to buy herself a birthday present, that's a weird feeling. Not bad. Just weird. Especially when the "how does that fit into my spreadsheet?" question popped into my head.

On another (happier) note, I've made good progress on my debt. I'm about $600 LESS in the hole than I was a month ago- cheers to that! In a later post, I'll add up all my debt and outline exactly what I'm trying to get out from under. Promise. As soon as I don't feel my heart beat in my temples when I think of numbers. Till then, I've been reading And Then We Saved. It's been hugely motivating and inspirational to see how other people have worked through their debt. I don't know if I can be as disciplined, but we'll see!

.... This will get easier, right?