Anxiety, and Bitch Slapped by Reality

So I stopped writing here because I really had no clue what the focus of this little bloggity should be. My life is pretty dull- why would anyone what to read the nothing about my every day?

Then... not too long ago, my financial shit hit the fan. Apparently just setting all my bills on "autopay" and thinking everything would be all good WASN'T the best decision. I'll save the deets for later, but I had my first legit anxiety attack.

I know, I know... I should have kept up on everything. I should be a good girl and balance my check book every week, but shit, I don't even know where my check book is. (Do you? Seriously?)

Don't judge now. I take care of all my responsibilities. It's not like I couldn't pay my bills or hit up The Walmart for vittles. It had just been a looooong time since I sat down and really looked at everything to see where my cash was going. All I knew is that I was feeling more and more broke every month, payments were getting pushed back, and I had no idea where all my cash was actually going.

My cash has been going EVERYWHERE. To bills, Starbucks, the occasional random impulse buys. I was ending up with nothing at the end of the month. Divvied up after everything, I just wasn't aware of my out-going cash. A depressing little example: I had a credit card that I had that was getting "autopaid" one day late for months, the minimum payment, of course. But because it wasn't on time, late fees accrued like a motherfucker, and even though I was paying, I was going two more dollars into debt every month!

 Did I say anxiety attack? I meant TWO.

Working parents can relate- daycare is a money succubus. I (thankfully) own my house, but even before all of this I qualified as "house poor." Student loans, credit cards, gas for my petroleum-slurping car... I'm a single parent, I ball on a budget. Or so I thought.

SO, I made the command decision to stop counting calories (shout out to my Fit Camp Girls!!) for a little while and start counting my money instead. I'm officially starting a spending diet and taking steps to learn about how to save my money that I bust my ass for. I know it's not going to be easy. I imagine it'll be like when I ran for the first time in YEARS- painfully working those muscles that I've been so lazy with for too long (metaphorically).

Although being in money stress mode isn't going to make me or my life any more interesting, I hope that my financial bullshit will be relate-able to someone, and maybe we can learn from each other on this journey.

Have you ever been slapped upside the head by your $$, or lack-there-of? How'd you deal?